First — this isn’t the inevitable part, it’s the gratitude part — THANK YOU to everyone who has been so kind to Pat and me about Sammy. Still, just this morning I walked downstairs and caught myself looking for him. And we haven’t brought ourselves to packing up his bowls and leashes. Ah, well. That time will come, I know. Right now, I just miss that furball like crazy. All your well wishes and sweet thoughts and kind words helped so much, though. I bet some of you still have bits of his fur hiding in the corners of your houses (this is not a comment on your housekeeping, but on the INSANE amounts of hair that dog shed every moment of every day, bless his heart). He was a great dog, wasn’t he?
And now… Onto baby stuff. I’m determined not become another mommy blogger because, really, what more is there to say? I’m pregnant. Yes, that means I’m having a baby. Yes, that also means I’m out of my mind with anxiety and excitement, which makes for some interesting emotional outbursts. (Poor Pat.) And, yes, that means — I know! I know! Stop telling me! — our lives are about to change FOREVER! I love how people fall into two camps when they give us this tidbit of not-so-news: some offer it with the tenor of a hurricane forecast (run! hide!); others fairly float above the ground, buoyed by angels wings and fairy dust. Either way, OK! We get the message! And, really, what can I add to the world of mommy bloggers out there? Umm… Right now, not much.
But thinking about the baby, freaking out about the baby, planning for the baby — this is what’s going on right now, when I’m not swamped with work projects and stories (Goodbye, famine! Hello, feast! Why did you wait until I was 8 months pregnant to show up to this dog-and-pony show?) and tracking down things for the nearly completed house we’re building. So, this post is inevitable.
Right now, all I can think about is what’s about to happen in approximately six (cross fingers) weeks, and that scene where Brooke Shields gives birth squatting under a tree in the Blue Lagoon is running on auto play in my head. Ugh! Freak out! So, No. 1 in my plan to conquer my anxiety about giving birth: Make lists! So far, my lists include possible pediatricians, people to call after the birth, preferences for the birth (a.k.a. the “birth plan”), things to take to the hospital for delivery and afterwards, etc. I haven’t resorted to listing out my favorite desserts, in order, but that list is on the horizon. Anything to keep from thinking about all the what ifs that make me sit upright in bed at 3 a.m. and send me running for the couch and infomercials on male enhancement drugs and acne medications. Good times!
So, if you have any advice on how to make it through these last few weeks and things I really should do before I go into labor and things that I really need to take to the hospital, I’d love to hear about it. Bonus points for things that kept you sane!
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November 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Kathryn Walker
this is a good post. and i reckon this isn’t so helpful but one thing i’ve noticed — as a fellow pregnant person — is how much i was worried about re: life changing forever has turned into to how much i’m letting go of. (that’s a crappy sentence.) i think that’s helped along by other hardships and how keenly i finally get the fact that time daggum flies. this isn’t any advice, really, at all. but i like this inevitable post.
November 17, 2009 at 7:49 am
Julie
First of all, CONGRATS!! I didn’t realize you were pregnant until this week. How very lucky this child is to have you as a mom.
This is what I did: I watched A LOT of “Baby Story” on TLC before I had both my kids. I think it helped me see what kinds of things actually go down during the delivery of a child. My biggest fears rested squarely on the unknowns. I had no idea what a contraction was supposed to feel like. I didn’t know if I could handle the pain of a contraction. I didn’t know a lot of things. I also took videos of Law & Order episodes to watch during the waiting because there’s something about them that relaxes me.
When you come up with your birth plan, don’t feel like you have to stick to it or you’ve failed. The one thing motherhood has taught me is that what you think is the right way may not be the best way. You’ve got to have an open mind about how to do everything.
When it comes to the “Now I Have a Baby, What Do I Do?” books, find the one that meshes with your personality. If you’re a scheduler, check out Baby Wise. If you prefer to “go where the day takes you,” check out Dr. Sears’s collection. Hell, there may be a whole new approach out there that I don’t even know about. Just use the one that feels right to you, and don’t worry about what the other ones say.
And the best advice: take all advice with a grain of salt. Nobody gets medals for child birth whether you do it without meds, with meds, in the water, at home, etc. You have to do what feels right for you. So, keep making your lists because already you’re doing what you need to for you, and consequently, for the baby.
November 18, 2009 at 10:06 am
Angie Newsome
I think all of this is great advice. I suppose I’m still in the I-don’t-know-what-I-don’t-know phase. That may last for a while, too. At least for 20 years, I suppose. Ha! I’m really excited to climb this coming steep learning curve, actually. When I’m not freaking out about it all, that is.
November 21, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Stacy
All I can add is to just try ride the wave. Just control what you can (make lists like crazy- I did that too!) and have an open mind like Julie said. You can handle whatever comes your way and you’ll come out the other side feeling like you did something awesome.
I got really overwhelmed by it all before it happened. Numb with fear. I wanted to be so prepared and know it all before Ro came, but it’s more of a learn as you go kind of thing. People gave me all kinds of baby care books that all said the opposite things of each other and my head spun around. I’m still stumbling through it and fight the feeling of failure & guilt daily.
Sorry if I’ve been in one of those camps! It’s just really hard to describe the love and the changes that are inevitable and you just grow to accept it all as being worth it.